Happy Holidays.

Hello All!

I hope everyone is enjoying the holidays. I thought I would come on to provide a quick update about my progress. I lost four pounds this past week. It literally just dropped off. One day I got on the scale and they disappeared.

I am excited and hope this is one downward trend that will continue. I committed this December to get my exercise regimen in gear and this week was no excuse. I managed to get in four sessions. I still got down with Christmas dinner, but I didn't pig out. I'm just focusing on one thing - exercise at least 3x a week. That is all I am holding myself accountable for and it takes a lot of pressure off. Maybe next month I will add another goal. Ever since I realized I was a bipolar exerciser - 6 months of fitness obsession and 6 months of doing absolutely nothing - I decided I would take this lifestyle change one step at at time.

Did y'all know that Billy Blanks' son has a exercise DVD? It's called Cardioke and it is SO much fun. It doesn't even feel like working out. It's like a modern black version of Sweatin' to the Oldies, lol. Like any exercise video, there are several moments of corniness, but I loved the old school moves and singing along. My little sister and I did it together and it was a lot of fun. Check it out if you get a chance.

PS - I'm gonna need A Biscuit Away and Nubian Fitness to hurry up and update their blogs. I know I have a lot of nerve to talk considering that this is the first time I am posting consistently in months, but I need some inspiration!

I feel you Oprah!

Hello!

It's been a long time since I've posted. I haven't completely fell off. I was doing well in September and stopped exercising for most of October and early November. I started again this month and have been doing...okay. I've managed to exercise an average of 2x a week thus far, which is better than I've done for the past year. I figure if I get in at least 20 minutes or something it is better than nothing.

I can't say I've seen any progress, but the workouts have done wonder for my guilt and tendency to beat myself up about my weight. To clear my head of shame is benefit enough, even if the pounds continue to stay steady.

You wanna know about tofu?

This entry is about tofu, but I would like to say that I lost an additional inch around the waist!! Also, I am no longer freaking out about my weight. I guess I felt like I was under the gun having gained so much weight so quickly. My fluctuations are definitely a source of emotional stress. Now that I have calmed down, I am at peace because I know I am doing something about my health.

But this is about tofu...

A reader asked about eating tofu for the first time...

I am definitely not an expert on cooking tofu. My knowledge is a result of vegetarian ex boyfriends and a lot of experimenting, lol.

I love tofu for the same reason that I love eggplant: although it has a distinctive taste, and it soaks up the flavor of any seasoning or sauce you may add. If you haven't tried tofu, I suggest going to a reputable restaurant and trying it out. The Vegetable Garden in Rockville, MD has some great entrees.

If you insist on cooking, know that there are several different consistencies from liquid to extra firm. Liquid tofu is often used for smoothies and baking. If you want a meat replacement, go for extra firm.

I have no idea why tofu is kept in water. However, I do know that the key to cooking tofu is to make sure you dry it out properly. Whether you use cheesecloth or paper towels, it is a long and tedious process that pays off in the end. The tofu has to be dry for the marinade to have an affect. Marinate the tofu as long as you can to make it flavorful.After that you can cook it like any other meat: grill, fry, bake, etc., Another tip would be to

Tofu is great because it is low calorie, high protein, cheap, and tasty! There are so many different kinds of meat substitutes, so if you don't like tofu, options are still available. Hope that helps!

Update

I know it's been a while...

Progress - The school year has begun, and thus the whirlwind of work and worry. Due to my structured days, I have managed to eat healthy on a (mostly) consistent basis. The only problem is trying to overcome the desire to hit up a happy hour once the day is done. Bar food and likka are my weaknesses.

I have been walking consistently. Most days I wake up early and get in a 20 minue brisk walk on my treadmill. That wakes me up and at least I have SOME sort of exercise if I am dog tired by the end of the day. Ideally, I would like to walk in the morning and evening, but I am working on it. I am thankful that my job is an active one, I logged 13k on my pedometer one day at work alone.

I also cooked this week, something I used to enjoy but gave up to due supposed lack of time. I cooked Risotto Zuchinni Rice Cakes with Tomato Compote and Red Curry Tofu with Stoplight Peppers and Broccoli and Coconut Scallion Rice. Mmmmm! Email me for the recipes.

This morning I walked for about an hour and 15 minutes (4 miles), and I feel great. I snuck in a weighing on the scale, and I have not lost any weight, but I haven't gained any weight. This week, my goal is to fit in at least one strength training session. Good luck to the rest of you!

Quotes for Every Occasion - Oprah Style!

All quotes are from O Magazine.

Choices and Change
I believe the choice to be excellent begins with aligning your thoughts and words with the intention to require more from yourself.

December 2003

Focusing on Your Goals

Energy is the essence of life. Every day you decide how you're going to use it by knowing what you want and what it takes to reach that goal, and by maintaining focus.

July 2003

Facing Challenges

Challenges are gifts that force us to search for a new center of gravity. Don't fight them. Just find a different way to stand.

October 2002

Failure as Motivation
Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it.

September 2003

Free Obama Button (Including Free Shipping)

Click This...get them while they last!

Quotes for Every Occasion

Must be nice...
"I never diet. I smoke. I drink now and then. I never work out. I work very hard, and I am worth every cent.” ~Naomi Campbell

Tame the Neurosis:
"What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease." ~George Dennison Prentice

Practical Advice for Planning Meals:
"Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper." ~Adelle Davis

Philosophy Lovers:
"What is food to one, is to others bitter poison." ~Lucretius (96 BC - 55 BC), De Rerum Natura

Oprah Lovers:
"There's no easy way out. If there were, I would have bought it. And believe me, it would be one of my favorite things!" ~Oprah Winfrey (1954 - ), O Magazine, February 2005

Fitness Break: Why are you Single?

What do you say when someone asks the following: “Why is a beautiful woman like you single?”

I always hear that sentiment, and it makes me uncomfortable. Aside from the fact that I find it slightly offensive (NO one says this to a man - to be a single man is a badge of honor), I really don't know! Well, to save face, I always try to keep it short and sweet: “I just haven’t found the right one.” But if I were to really get into it, I mean REALLY delve into all of the delicate and diabilocal details, the list would go something like this:

1. I’ve been “kickin’” it off and on for the past two years with a man who is too afraid to commit but too afraid to leave me alone. And I guess I haven't left him alone because I am afraid of being lonely In other words...
2. I am blocking my blessing. But that funky relationship works because…
   
3. I might just be too afraid to be vulnerable again. Maybe I am the one who is truly afraid of a commitment, and just seek/attract men that are the same to stay in my comfort zone.
   
4. I am a workaholic during the shool year. But we are being honest here: I work a lot in order to avoid thinking about reason #3 (among other things)
   
5. The men I do meet think an appropriate get-to-know-you date is to “chill” at their house, or even worse, MY house. I ain’t chillin at no man’s house until we are exclusive or bordering on being exclusive. Which brings me to the fact that...
6. I tend to have old school values when it comes to dating (but only when it suits me, hahaha).
   
7. I meet men with limited life experience (you've never been out of MARYLAND!?) and conversational skills. For example,
   
8. I meet men who tell me things like: Obama selected Hilary for a running mate (I'm NOT lying).
9. I meet men who would rather text than call and have an actual conversation (BIGGEST pet peeve).
   
10. I meet men that have too much baggage: living with ex girlfriend, just broke up with ex girlfriend, stalker ex girlfriend,
11. I don’t approach men…too shy
    
12. I don’t meet men in the places I tend to frequent.
    
13. The man mentioned in reason #1 says I come off as the type of woman that doesn’t play around.
    
14. I don’t play around.
    
15. I’m shy around men that I am attracted to.
    
16. I usually run when I notice red flags, only to be left with the men that hid the flags better than the rest of them, lol.
    
17. A friend of a friend (male) said I come off as impatient.
    
18. I’m impatient.
    
19. I don’t chase men, and if I were to be perfectly honest…
    
20. I’m looking for a man who will chase me (don’t worry, I am worth the catch).
    
21. My “no-chase” attitude may come off as I am not interested.
    
22. A lot of times, I’m not. I guess I am a smidge picky, but I like to call it standards.
    
23. I prefer black men, and LAWD, I could write a whole book on why that can sometimes be a dating obstacle.
    
24. I have NO game. I don’t know how to flirt until I get to know someone, then you can’t stop me.
    
25. Based on past relationships, I secretly (well not so secretly anymore) think I don’t know how to select a good man.

What does your list look like?

The Perfect Breakfast

Everyone knows it is important to eat breakfast, especially if you are trying to lose weight. I've also read that breakfast is supposed ot be the biggest meal of the day to get your metabolism going and regulate your appetite so you won't be ravenous in the afternoon.

Breakfast can be difficult for me during the school year because I have to leave the house at 6 am, and who wants to cook or even eat that early? This past school year my breakfast had to last 4 1/2 hours because my planning period was at the end of the day. Sometimes I would remember to grab some almonnds during that long run without food, but you can't always remember to feed yourself when you have 30+ teenagers in your face. I had a hard time finding something that would keep me full for that long. I often found myself foggy brained and lethargic at least an hour before lunch.

After much experimenting, I finally realized that the perfect breakfast for some one in my situation would be around 400 calories, low in sugar and carbs, and very high protein and fiber content to keep me going. Although I love protein smoothies, they only keep me full for about 2 hours, and I am not too big on cereal (it also sends me crashing). Here are two options I have been trying this summer in an affort to reteach myself how to eat.

For those Who have time to cook...
Dr. Praeger’s Spinach Pancakes ($4) are like healthy potato latkes for spinach lovers. I like to eat them with eggs in the morning and a little reduced fat sour cream. They are so tasty and for two I get 2 grams of fiber and protein each. They are available at health food stores like Whole Foods or in the health food frozen section of your supermarket.

I eat these with egg whites (8 – 9 grams of protein) mixed with reduced-fat cheese (7 grams of protein) and salsa. Add in some fruit or yogurt and you have a filling meal under 400 calories. Preparing this meal only takes about 10 minutes if you buy the egg whites in a carton.

Breakfast-on-the-GO
Fiber One Yogurt ($3 )
I love this yogurt, and it is so creamy.. There is no artificial sweetener aftertaste, fat, or that weird bitter yogurt taste. This yogurt is only 80 calories and includes 5 grams of fiber. The only, and somewhat significant, downside to this yogurt is that it has HFCS. That’s probably why it tastes so damn good, lol.

South Beach High Protein Cereal Bars ($4 )
Aside from the great taste, these bars have only 140 calories and high in protein (10 grams) and fiber (5 grams). SB considers your glycemic level, so you don’t have to worry about a crash later on in the day. Plus, I always seem to find coupons for them. My favorite flavor is peanut butter.

I usually eat just the yogurt and bar and have a snack 2 hours later, but when school starts I will add a fruit and some almonds to it to get it up to 400 calories.

What is your perfect breakfast for weight loss?

Out of Curiosity

Does anyone actually read this thing aside from my good friend Rashad? If so, say Hi!! Give me some ideas, encouragement, inspiration. Holla!

STAY AWAY FROM THE SCALE

Sunday
I was feeling fine. I squeezed my butt into a size 10 jean skirt at Ann Taylor. Although it was a smidge tight, I got it on and there was no mufffin top, so I knew I was weeks away from being able to wear that skirt without looking like a typical Baltimore woman. I felt slimmer, more energetic, and I even managed to go out to eat and not blow my diet.

Monday
August 4th marked the official 1 month of my return to healthy lifestyle land. I got on my scale that morning expecting to see some results, not a lot, but just a smidge of change. The scale stated that I gained 5 pounds.

I jumped on my old school spring scale. It read the same. I got a 5 pound weight and placed it on the scale to make sure my spring wasn't broken. It read correctly. I got on my 3rd scale (I know....issues) that weighs 4 pounds lighter. Stood on it (buck nekkid at this point), did the math, and proceeded to....

Call my momma crying in hysterics. How could I GAIN 5 pounds? How could I gaaaaaaaaaaaIIIIN FIVE pounds? After she managed to calm me down, she suggested I go to my doctor and see a nutritionist. I proceeded to make an appointment and actually got in the same day.

They weighed me, as they do on every doctor visit, and I had to hold back the tears as the medical assistant and smiley intern (who was uber skinny and grinning from ear to ear as she informed me it was her first day) recorded my weight..

The doctor asked me a series of questions, confirmed that I gained 20 pounds in 10 months, proceeded to tell me my cholestorol and blood pressure were excellent and I should just be grateful for that and continue to do what I was doing. I know a good amount of the gain was my abandoning my diet and exercise regimen during the school year, but I also suspect it has something to do with the medicine I started 10 months ago. Needless, to say went off that medication and am looking into a replacement. I exercised with a vengeance that evening (small victory).

Tuesday
I woke up, measured myself, and discovered I lost a 1/2 inch off of my waist (1.5 total). I felt relieved, at least SOMETHING is shrinking. I don't know where this 5 lbs. came from. Is it pms? a result of strength training? My response yesterday showed me just how emotionally tied I am to this process and how much my self esteem is connected to my body image. I don't like feeling as though my hard work is not paying off in the way that I want. Moreso, I don't like feeling so emotional over my weight. They say its a matter of exercise and nutrition. Why is my body now working with the numbers? I feel better today, but this kind of sucks.

Wednesday
I have yet to make an appointment with the nutritionist. Lost two pounds, cycle came (so it was PMS), realized I was overreacting AND did not follow the number one rule: stay away from the scale for the first couple of weeks (some say months) and go by inches and clothing fit. I am definitely going to go the route of my fellow blogger "a biscuit away" and stay faaaar away from the scale for a couple more weeks until my body figures out that she needs to hurry up and shed the pounds.

Quotes for Every Occasion

• Perspective

"More die in the United States of too much food than of too little." ~John Kenneth Galbraith, The Affluent Society

• Kick in the Butt

"Reality check: you can never, ever, use weight loss to solve problems that are not related to your weight. At your goal weight or not, you still have to live with yourself and deal with your problems. You will still have the same husband, the same job, the same kids, and the same life. Losing weight is not a cure for life." ~Phillip C. McGraw, The Ultimate Weight Solution: The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom, 2003

• Humor (It's funny because it's true!)

"Food is like sex: when you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good." ~Beth McCollister

• Literature Lovers

"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." ~Mark Twain, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, 1876

• A Dose of Common Sense

"Food is an important part of a balanced Diet." ~Fran Liebowitz

SWIPE from NPR: "Why African-Americans Loathe 'Uncle Tom'"

Thought I'd take a break from food and post an interesting swipe from one of my favorite news sources.



Tell Me More, July 30, 2008 · Folklorist Patricia Turner discusses "Uncle Tom" — the lead character in the anti-slavery novel "Uncle Tom's Cabin" by abolitionist Harriet Beecher Stowe — as part of NPR's In Character series. The series examines the fictional characters who have defined American life.



Click to Listen



Interesting Facts:

• Based on a real slave in Maryland


• Uncle Tom's Cabin outsold The Bible when it was published


• Considered the 1st bestseller

BBC Gives Good TV

What if you were told that the side effects of a particular medicine caused:
nausea
chills
extreme fatigue
mood swings
rashes
inability to exercise
upset stomach
and depression?

Would you still be willing to take it if you had another option? The aforementioned effects are what the women in BBC America's documentary Super Skinny Me experienced as they attempted to get down to a size 0 by trying a flurry of fad diets including the Master Cleanse, The Water Cress Soup Diet, and the Just Say No Diet.

Super Skinny Me is part of a series of documentaries called BBC America Reveals. These docs "take an in-depth, honest, and often surprising look at some of the body image issues that people are struggling to overcome in their search for happiness," (BBC America Website).

The other docs include:

• My Big Breasts and Me


• My Little Breasts and I


• 476-lb. Teenager


• Teen Transexual

You can go to the BBC America website to check the schedule. Super Skinny Me is also available on YouTube.

Swipe: NPR - "Eat Healthy Without Going Broke"

From Michel Martin's show, Tell Me More, she discusses practical ways we can maintain a healthy lifestyle with a tight budget.



July 17, 2008



"As part of the program's Cheapskate Week, author Dr. Rovenia Brock, a nutritionist, is joined by Jonell Nash, of Essence magazine, who wrote the article "Healthy Food Shopping for Less!" in this month's issue. The two discuss how to eat healthy on a limited budget, and which foods you might be worth a little extra cash." - NPR



Click to Listen

Fried Chicken: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

THE GOOD - Willie Mae's Scotch House


Willie Mae represents overcoming the tragedy of Hurricane Katrina. Famous for her tasty fried chicken, she received the prestigious James Beard Food Award,the Oscar of cooking, in 2005. Once her restaurant was destroyed in the Hurricane, she refused to leave and was helped by locals and food celebrities to rebuild the cultural landmark. (Interesting tidbit: Ben's Chili Bowl won the award in 2004)





THE BAD - Nas' "Fried Chicken" off his new and wanna-be controversial album UNTITLED


Come on now Nas, you done took it too far with the righteousness. Attacking Fried Chicken! It ain't do nothin' to you! Attack the amount of fast food chains in impoverished neighborhoods, attack the fact that in some neighborhoods, people feel it is easier to buy a gun than fruits and vegetables! Attack not teaching your child correct nutrition and exercise habits. While I appreciate the metaphor (however loosely executed), I think this is a bit preachy and misdirected.





THE UGLY - Tyson's Fried Chicken Strips Commercial

Aside from being incredibly stupid, the woman is serving PRE-MADE fried chicken from a BAG!!! What she doing taking it out of that cast iron pan like she cooked something. What's up with the chicken soliloquy and random man playing the piano in the background. There was some mild controversy over whether this commercial was racist or not, I just think it's moronic.




I would include a "healthy" fried chicken recipe here, but there is no replacing the crunchy goodness. Just in case you need a reminder as to why this should be an occasional treat, here are the nutritional breakdowns of Popeye's fried chicken (my personal fave).

Breast - 350 calories / 20 grams of fat /1130 mg sodium / 179 mg cholesterol

Thigh - 280 calories / 20 grams of fat / 710 mg sodium / 135 mg cholesterol

Wing - 150 calories / 10 grams of fat / 690 mg sodium / 92 mg cholesterol

Leg - 110 calories / 7 grams of fat / 280 mg sodium / 59 mg cholesterol

Roughly 30% of those fat grams consist of saturated fat.

Homemade Gourmet Sliders

Yall know I love me some Oprah. I guess that's an Educated Black People Thing (lmao). So when she did her Favorite Things Show and revealed a new twist on a Turkey Burger. Oprah said it was the best turkey burger she ever tasted.


I thought to myself, Oprah eats at the best restaurants in the world, so I KNOW this turkey burger must be good. I went to the store immediately to test out the recipe courtesy of Donald Trump's Mara-a-Lago Exclusive Resort. It includes lots of yummy ingredients such as scallions, Mango Chutney, and apples. Of course, I had to add my own twist, so I decided to make sliders.


Sliders are no different from regular hamburgers, but they seem to have a new reputation. Instead of the tasty oily treats from White Castle, they've become chic. I've seen everything from veggie to buffalo meat sliders on menus these days. There is something about finger food that makes Americans swoon. I made my own version of sliders with the Mar-A-Lago recipe. Beware: the recipe calls for three pounds of ground turkey, so make sure you adjust the measurements if you are only using one pound of ground meat. I only had ground chicken in my fridge, and I don't plan on feeding an army.


I made the burgers as directed, added a little extra Chutney because i like the sweet taste, and I used Weber Grind N' Grill Gourmet Burger Seasoning. Any pre-mixed burger seasoning (another food trend) will do. I plan on treating myself to William & Sonoma's Hamburger Seasoning sometime soon. I made my patties about 3 inches in diameter, and this yielded about eight patties. After cooking, each patty should be about 2 oz. in weight. Eat two of these sliders for only 200 calories and a perfect portion size of 4oz.


How do you find those tiny rolls?

Martin's Famous Whole Wheat Potato Rolls are perfect for homemade sliders. These buns are miniature in size, and each roll is only 80 calories, 4 grams of fiber, and 6 grams in protein. Can we say guilt free and tasty? I topped mine with avocado and chutney, but be careful with the chutney because it's about 50 - 60 calories per tablespoon.


TIPS:

• Need to calculate calories in a recipe? Calorie King is your friend. It is the most comprehensive and user friendly database of calories.
• Use 2 pounds and freeze the remaining patties like Momma used to do. You'll appreciate the extra effort when you don't feel like cooking and want a great meal.

Mar-a-Lago Turkey Burgers

Oprah found a new favorite food when she tried this turkey burger at Mar-a-Lago, Donald Trump's private club in Palm Beach. "I believe [it] may be the best turkey burger in the entire world," she says. The Mar-a-Lago Turkey Burger will be permanently available at the Trump Bar and Grille in Trump Tower in New York City, open to the public for lunch and dinner. It will also be served during lunch in Chicago at Sixteen, the Trump International Hotel restaurant.

Ingredients:Serves 6

1/4 cup thinly sliced scallions
1/2 cup finely chopped celery
3 Granny Smith apples , peeled and diced
1/8 cup canola oil
4 pounds ground turkey breast
2 Tbsp. salt
2 Tbsp. black pepper
2 tsp. chipotle Tabasco™
1 lemon , juiced and grated zest
1/2 bunch parsley , finely chopped

Sauté the scallions, celery and apples in the canola oil until tender. Let cool.Place the ground turkey in a large mixing bowl. Add sautéed items and the remaining ingredients. Shape into eight 8-ounce burgers. Refrigerate for 2 hours.Season the turkey burgers with salt and pepper. Place on a preheated, lightly oiled grill. Grill each side for 7 minutes until meat is thoroughly cooked. Let sit for 5 minutes.Serve with a side of Mar-a-Lago Pear Chutney and your favorite toasted bread, pita or hamburger roll.

Where is the Easy Button?

As a habitual dieter (see Albert Einstein's definiton of insanity), I know the process of getting on the wagon, jumping off the wagon, completely forgetting there was ever a wagon to begin with, and shamefully running after the wagon when that mischevious muffin top appears.

We food addicts know the feeling of waking up one day, after months of behaving badly, and not being able to fit into those reliable jeans. For me, it was around May when all of my professional work clothes started looking like club clothes. Excuse my crassness, but when you can see your cellulite through your slacks...it MIGHT be time to start hitting the weights and veggies.

This "reawakening" is a vulnerable time in the habitual dieter's life and it comes in stages:

GETTING BACK ON THE WAGON

• Stage One - DENIAL - "The dryer shrunk my jeans! The dryer shrunk my jeans!! I wonder if Home Depot is having a sale?"
• Stage Two - SEEKING CONFIRMATION -"Baby, do I look fat in these jeans?"
  
• Stage Three - ANGER - "Eff these jeans!! They ain't never fit right anyways."
  
• Stage Four - ACCEPTANCE - "I knew they started making clothes smaller. It's a conspiracy. This 14 looks JUST like my size 8.

With acceptance, there comes a new resolve to make a change. This is when our fight or flight response appears. Do we fight our learned habits of getting extra cheese, margaritas, and fried comfort? Or do we fly away from the real reason we are in this predicament?

The key to starting and sticking with a weight loss plan is to avoid panicking, and focus on nurturing. Lack of nurturing your body, mind, and soul is what got you here to begin with.

Since I am an emotional eater, I've learned that I eat to avoid uncomfortable emotions. When I realize I am "fat" again, the emotions I face are shame, guilt, anger, depression. Ironically, those are the same emotions I was trying to avoid (via food and alcohol) to begin with.

Panic mode is a vulnerable time. Those hyperbolic weight loss commercials start looking increasingly appealing. I stock up on health magazines and covertly eye the diet pill aisle in Wal-Mart. I become obsessed with calories and measures. I start making self-deprecating fat jokes. Once again, it is something else to focus on than what I am truly feeling inside. This time I am trying not to transfer one compulsve habit to another.

Panic mode is when habitual dieter's fall for the gimmicks, looking for an easy and painless way to make the fat go away. Panic mode is when you start punishing yourself for failure with unreasonable eating and exercise habits.

I have a friend now who texted me this week that she lost 12 lbs. on the Master Cleanse diet. Now, I am happy for her weight loss, but I can't help but wonder how long that will last without implementing any lifestyle changes.

Unfortunately, when it comes to health, THERE IS NO EASY BUTTON. Consistency and longevity is key. I am trying to remind myself of this pearl as I continue on to the fourth week my 234,4343,324th "health program" and see minimal progress.

"Mmmmmmm, Girl if I could cook healthy food like you...

I'd weigh like 2 pounds..."

I am currently posting from one of my best friend's apartment. I'm chilling here catching up on Weeds.

Those were her words after tasting a spinach salad I threw together with the following accoutrements:

• avocado
• grilled chicken
• gorgonzola cheese
• red peppers
• pears.

I made a Cilantro Lime Vinaigrette that was the shizzzzzzz. I didn't use measurements, so I will hook you up with a link or two.

The ingredients I used include: fresh cilantro, dark brown sugar, dijon mustard, garlic rice vinegar, soy sauce, lime juice and olive oil.

She didn't have a blender, but I suggest blending.

Lanks:

• http://www.eatingwell.com/recipes/cilantro_lime_vinagrete.html
• http://www.chowhound.com/topics/347039

Books that have inspired me the past couple of weeks...

• If you like to eat and are an emotional eater - read these to help you make long term changes. Details of my plan coming soon...

Instant Gratification

That is a catch phrase that we hear a lot in reference to our culture. We want to feel good, successful, complete, satisfied – NOW. While we don’t frown on hard work, we actually revere it, we do frown on what we view as a misuse of time, and that includes waiting. I’ve been told often that I am an impatient person. I accept that. Actually, I have been observed to give off an air of impatience, so one can imagine the strength I must use as I try to lose weight once again.

This time I am giving myself a year to get to my goal weight of 140 pounds, because I am obviously not 18 years old anymore and can not lose 6 pounds in a week. Apparently, I can not even lose 2 pounds a week even when I constantly calculate my calories and cardio. For some reason, my body does not fit into a mathematical equation. Go figure. F0r real - Fk math, lol.

I decided to view my weight craze as an addiction. Coincidentally, there was a slew of celebrity drug addict shows on cable this past week. For someone who doesn't have cable, when I get access to it, my reality junkie comes out full force. On one particular show, a recovering addict said that going to a drug rehab program was the easiest part of the process, it was staying recovered that was the difficult part. Being thrown into the same situations and expected to respond in new, yet foreign, ways is difficult.

I am addicted to food. It makes me feel good instantly. It helps me avoid certain thoughts that I have no idea how to handle or deal with. As a matter of fact, the mere feeling of not kowing how to handle something stresses me out. Family issues, relationship stress, job stress, money troubles – all melt away instantly with fried and salty foods. Then, as my waist line expands, I go back to detox a.k.a. dieting. My emotional issues are displayed on my figure like a flag of failure.

I am great at dieting. I know all there is to know about caloric intake, eating times, metabolism, good fats, bad fats, fat fats. I need to become great at lifestylin’

Therefore, my focus this summer is to come up with ways, reteach myself, how to handle stressful situations—particularly the lack of time and energy that will come with the school year--without sippin chard and eating.

New Favorite Recipe

Noodle-Less Lasagna – Use any lasagna recipe, but replace the noodles with thinly sliced eggplants. Use about two medium sized eggplants, season them with salt and pepper, bake at 350 for about 10 minutes.

The eggplant soaks up all of the flavors and you never miss the noodles. I prepared mine with fat free ricotta, ground turkey (you can keep it veggie), and reduced fat mozzarella. As always, add fresh herbs.

Starting over...

Ok, I have tried to avoid posting to this blog because I know I have fell off the wagon HARD. I keep thinking about the many "revelations" I had as I started this process of losing weight the same time last year. I also think a lot about how I did not acheive the success that I wanted despite the fact that I tried everything but diet pills and gastric bypass surgery.

For whatever reason, I stopped losing weight near the end of the summer. Those close to me know how hard I worked and how much I beat myself up for my lack of progress. Now, I did look good last summer: I was toned, slimmer, energetic. However, I only lost six pounds. Six pounds after two and a half months of working out 5 days a week and watching what I ate. I mixed up my workout routing, rotated calories, rotated diets---EVERYTHING. I even had the doctor check my thyroid levels because women on both sides of my family suffer from that disease.

I didn't celebrate as I should have when I saw my health "report card" has straight A's for my blood pressure and cholestorol levels. I felt defeated when I saw there was nothing wrong with my thyroid levels. So when school began, I gave up without a single tinge of guilt. I felt like I deserved to give up. I earned the right to halt all of my effortst because obviously it did not make a difference what I did--I would never be slim. I would just have to embrace this gut, these handles and thighs.

That first six pounds came quickly. I felt bad about it for a couple of days, made a half-hearted attempt to eat healthier, and then quickly let it go. I would look enviously at my friends who lost a significant amount of weight and wonder why it did not happen for me? Was it a plateau? Was it that my body was changing because I am "older" now? Was it my new medicine - weight gain is listed as one of the side effects?

I started eating out more, drinking more, and totally gave up any form of physical exercise. I was not surprised when my favorite pair of jeans, the ones that usually fit well despite my weight fluctuations, were cutting off my circulation as I put them on the other day. Did the dryer shrink them? I did put it on permanent-press, and I usually let my jeans air dry. I knew the day had come when I needed to stop throwing my mental temper tantrum and get on the diet train again.

I know I need to stop giving up. I can't be a health super star for 3 months and then give up for 9. The world doesn't work like that. My body and mind are tired. So I am starting once again, somewhat dejectedly, heavier than I was when I started last year, and hoping for some kind of change. I am hoping for some kind of change. Words of support would be appreciated.

Gay Men

are God's gift to women. I love me some Carson. This is my thought after watching Love Yourself Naked. I've been feeling sorry for myself lately because I have gained some weight back. I'm not brave enough at this moment to post numbers, but it's enough to bother me on a daily basis. I've been working on it. To be honest, I'm tired. I feel like I've been dieting for decades.

This morning I happened to come upon this show, and it is simply amazing how distorted some of our body images can be. Watching this show made me feel better about myself. This article can say it better than I can (swipe!) :

New Fitness Instruction: Sing the Body Eclectic

By GINIA BELLAFANTE

Published: January 4, 2008

“How to Look Good Naked,” a new series on Lifetime, bears a title provocative not for its suggestion of sex but rather for its intimation of futility. To a great many people older than 26, “How to Look Good Naked” sounds an awful lot like “How to Build a Global Brand Just Like Steve Jobs, Before the Next Rose Bowl.”

The series, a remake of one that originated in Britain, arrives, however, as the greatest triumph of cognitive therapy that reality television has ever produced. In it Carson Kressley advances beyond his role as stylist and wit to serve as something like a mental-health professional determined to get one new woman a week not merely to stop hating her body but to regard it as if it belonged to Maud Adams in “Octopussy.” Talleyrand negotiating at the Congress of Vienna surely faced less resistance.

An antidote to makeover programs that tell us flesh is what must be made over, the series dresses up old-school feminist arguments, without any concession to obesity paranoia. Mr. Kressley in his coral cashmere cable-knit is like a cheerful, menschy, cartoon character that might have sprung from the pages of “Our Bodies, Ourselves,” had it been willing to have a good time. The world of “How to Look Good Naked” is a happy and optimistic place where no one is overweight, but everyone suffers from a curable form of body dysmorphia.

Mr. Kressley does not direct anyone toward steamed broccoli or a spin class, even when they appear, quite objectively, to be needed. He refuses to advocate weight loss by any means, pushing instead for a total defeat of body-image disorder by providing women with tangible evidence of their flawed perceptions. He functions as counselor both in the psychological and lawyerly sense, offering canny new thought patterns to replace downer feelings: proving to women, for instance, how they are, inch for inch, actually trimmer than those with whom, for reasons of poor self-esteem, they might compare themselves.

The show places predictable blame on the news media for causing women to dislike their physical appearance even as it offers further indication that such an argument is harder to make. Tabloids demonize celebrity anorexics now, photographing them as if they belonged to the ranks of the criminally insane, while reveling in beach portraits of stars looking flabbily just like us. Who doesn’t go to the supermarket half-expecting to see that Us magazine will have produced a spinoff called Cellulite Weekly?

The bright gimmick of “How to Look Good Naked” is that it also uses objectifying images to work its positive-thinking mind games. Layla, the subject of tonight’s premiere episode, is a 32-year-old human resources associate who, to anyone who is a fitness elitist or French, seems to be fat. But the episode will certainly leave you feeling guilty for thinking so.

Mr. Kressley, in addition to getting Layla to buy a new bra that flattens the rolls on the sides of her chest, puts a photograph of her up as a billboard in Santa Monica, Calif. When passers-by are filmed saying nice things about her, Layla begins to feel better. And with some new clothes, Layla really starts appreciating Layla. Mr. Kressley never pretends that there is a woman alive who can learn to love herself without at least a handful of people telling her she looks half-way decent. “How to Look Good Naked” isn’t just fun. It’s honest.

HOW TO LOOK GOOD NAKED

Lifetime, Friday night at 9, Eastern and Pacific times; 8, Central time.
Riaz Patel, Chris Coelen, Greg Goldman, Alex Fraser, Jim Sayer and Jo Rosenfelder, executive producers; Carson Kressley and Diane DeStefano, co-executive producers. Produced by RDF Media and Maverick TV for Lifetime Television. Carson Kressley, host.
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