What do you say when someone asks the following: “Why is a beautiful woman like you single?”
I always hear that sentiment, and it makes me uncomfortable. Aside from the fact that I find it slightly offensive (NO one says this to a man - to be a single man is a badge of honor), I really don't know! Well, to save face, I always try to keep it short and sweet: “I just haven’t found the right one.” But if I were to really get into it, I mean REALLY delve into all of the delicate and diabilocal details, the list would go something like this:
- I’ve been “kickin’” it off and on for the past two years with a man who is too afraid to commit but too afraid to leave me alone. And I guess I haven't left him alone because I am afraid of being lonely In other words...
- I am blocking my blessing. But that funky relationship works because…
- I might just be too afraid to be vulnerable again. Maybe I am the one who is truly afraid of a commitment, and just seek/attract men that are the same to stay in my comfort zone.
- I am a workaholic during the shool year. But we are being honest here: I work a lot in order to avoid thinking about reason #3 (among other things)
- The men I do meet think an appropriate get-to-know-you date is to “chill” at their house, or even worse, MY house. I ain’t chillin at no man’s house until we are exclusive or bordering on being exclusive. Which brings me to the fact that...
- I tend to have old school values when it comes to dating (but only when it suits me, hahaha).
- I meet men with limited life experience (you've never been out of MARYLAND!?) and conversational skills. For example,
- I meet men who tell me things like: Obama selected Hilary for a running mate (I'm NOT lying).
- I meet men who would rather text than call and have an actual conversation (BIGGEST pet peeve).
- I meet men that have too much baggage: living with ex girlfriend, just broke up with ex girlfriend, stalker ex girlfriend,
- I don’t approach men…too shy
- I don’t meet men in the places I tend to frequent.
- The man mentioned in reason #1 says I come off as the type of woman that doesn’t play around.
- I don’t play around.
- I’m shy around men that I am attracted to.
- I usually run when I notice red flags, only to be left with the men that hid the flags better than the rest of them, lol.
- A friend of a friend (male) said I come off as impatient.
- I’m impatient.
- I don’t chase men, and if I were to be perfectly honest…
- I’m looking for a man who will chase me (don’t worry, I am worth the catch).
- My “no-chase” attitude may come off as I am not interested.
- A lot of times, I’m not. I guess I am a smidge picky, but I like to call it standards.
- I prefer black men, and LAWD, I could write a whole book on why that can sometimes be a dating obstacle.
- I have NO game. I don’t know how to flirt until I get to know someone, then you can’t stop me.
- Based on past relationships, I secretly (well not so secretly anymore) think I don’t know how to select a good man.
What does your list look like?