Saturday, August 9, 2008

Fitness Break: Why are you Single?

What do you say when someone asks the following: “Why is a beautiful woman like you single?”

I always hear that sentiment, and it makes me uncomfortable. Aside from the fact that I find it slightly offensive (NO one says this to a man - to be a single man is a badge of honor), I really don't know! Well, to save face, I always try to keep it short and sweet: “I just haven’t found the right one.” But if I were to really get into it, I mean REALLY delve into all of the delicate and diabilocal details, the list would go something like this:

  1. I’ve been “kickin’” it off and on for the past two years with a man who is too afraid to commit but too afraid to leave me alone. And I guess I haven't left him alone because I am afraid of being lonely In other words...
  2. I am blocking my blessing. But that funky relationship works because…
  3. I might just be too afraid to be vulnerable again. Maybe I am the one who is truly afraid of a commitment, and just seek/attract men that are the same to stay in my comfort zone.
  4. I am a workaholic during the shool year. But we are being honest here: I work a lot in order to avoid thinking about reason #3 (among other things)
  5. The men I do meet think an appropriate get-to-know-you date is to “chill” at their house, or even worse, MY house. I ain’t chillin at no man’s house until we are exclusive or bordering on being exclusive. Which brings me to the fact that...
  6. I tend to have old school values when it comes to dating (but only when it suits me, hahaha).
  7. I meet men with limited life experience (you've never been out of MARYLAND!?) and conversational skills. For example,
  8. I meet men who tell me things like: Obama selected Hilary for a running mate (I'm NOT lying).
  9. I meet men who would rather text than call and have an actual conversation (BIGGEST pet peeve).
  10. I meet men that have too much baggage: living with ex girlfriend, just broke up with ex girlfriend, stalker ex girlfriend,
  11. I don’t approach men…too shy
  12. I don’t meet men in the places I tend to frequent.
  13. The man mentioned in reason #1 says I come off as the type of woman that doesn’t play around.
  14. I don’t play around.
  15. I’m shy around men that I am attracted to.
  16. I usually run when I notice red flags, only to be left with the men that hid the flags better than the rest of them, lol.
  17. A friend of a friend (male) said I come off as impatient.
  18. I’m impatient.
  19. I don’t chase men, and if I were to be perfectly honest…
  20. I’m looking for a man who will chase me (don’t worry, I am worth the catch).
  21. My “no-chase” attitude may come off as I am not interested.
  22. A lot of times, I’m not. I guess I am a smidge picky, but I like to call it standards.
  23. I prefer black men, and LAWD, I could write a whole book on why that can sometimes be a dating obstacle.
  24. I have NO game. I don’t know how to flirt until I get to know someone, then you can’t stop me.
  25. Based on past relationships, I secretly (well not so secretly anymore) think I don’t know how to select a good man.

What does your list look like?


Miss. Lady said...

Oh wow! Girl! Are you living my life? I mean for real. Are you? My list is a tad bit longer than yours but you have pretty much summed it up.

JJ said...

My list, which in my younger years, would have looked much summed up as follows:

i. I like traditionally masculine men...they like traditionally feminine women...I am NOT a traditionally feminine woman.

The end.

Never200 said...

@ miss. lady - Lol, well hopefully we can share some tips to shorten the list, because i am getting tired of hearing that question.

@ jj - i'm hoping i can shorten mine by changing the things i have control your blog btw

AJR said...

You took the words right out of my mouth.

C.C. Walker said...

oh my goodness...i think i finally found my! As I read each number, my jaw dropped a little bit more, girl you are NOT alone!!!!!

DeeDeeLynn said...

ooooooooo, number 9 kills me! Like really you want to get deep via text...I don't thinks so!!!!!

Socasassy said...

Gurl.. some of the things on your list about 99.9 matches mine - only the shy ones because I am not shy. But the rest are pretty much the same LOL!! wow and to think my friends think I am the only person like this in the world - LOL!!