Saturday, August 9, 2008

Fitness Break: Why are you Single?

What do you say when someone asks the following: “Why is a beautiful woman like you single?”

I always hear that sentiment, and it makes me uncomfortable. Aside from the fact that I find it slightly offensive (NO one says this to a man - to be a single man is a badge of honor), I really don't know! Well, to save face, I always try to keep it short and sweet: “I just haven’t found the right one.” But if I were to really get into it, I mean REALLY delve into all of the delicate and diabilocal details, the list would go something like this:

  1. I’ve been “kickin’” it off and on for the past two years with a man who is too afraid to commit but too afraid to leave me alone. And I guess I haven't left him alone because I am afraid of being lonely In other words...
  2. I am blocking my blessing. But that funky relationship works because…
  3. I might just be too afraid to be vulnerable again. Maybe I am the one who is truly afraid of a commitment, and just seek/attract men that are the same to stay in my comfort zone.
  4. I am a workaholic during the shool year. But we are being honest here: I work a lot in order to avoid thinking about reason #3 (among other things)
  5. The men I do meet think an appropriate get-to-know-you date is to “chill” at their house, or even worse, MY house. I ain’t chillin at no man’s house until we are exclusive or bordering on being exclusive. Which brings me to the fact that...
  6. I tend to have old school values when it comes to dating (but only when it suits me, hahaha).
  7. I meet men with limited life experience (you've never been out of MARYLAND!?) and conversational skills. For example,
  8. I meet men who tell me things like: Obama selected Hilary for a running mate (I'm NOT lying).
  9. I meet men who would rather text than call and have an actual conversation (BIGGEST pet peeve).
  10. I meet men that have too much baggage: living with ex girlfriend, just broke up with ex girlfriend, stalker ex girlfriend,
  11. I don’t approach men…too shy
  12. I don’t meet men in the places I tend to frequent.
  13. The man mentioned in reason #1 says I come off as the type of woman that doesn’t play around.
  14. I don’t play around.
  15. I’m shy around men that I am attracted to.
  16. I usually run when I notice red flags, only to be left with the men that hid the flags better than the rest of them, lol.
  17. A friend of a friend (male) said I come off as impatient.
  18. I’m impatient.
  19. I don’t chase men, and if I were to be perfectly honest…
  20. I’m looking for a man who will chase me (don’t worry, I am worth the catch).
  21. My “no-chase” attitude may come off as I am not interested.
  22. A lot of times, I’m not. I guess I am a smidge picky, but I like to call it standards.
  23. I prefer black men, and LAWD, I could write a whole book on why that can sometimes be a dating obstacle.
  24. I have NO game. I don’t know how to flirt until I get to know someone, then you can’t stop me.
  25. Based on past relationships, I secretly (well not so secretly anymore) think I don’t know how to select a good man.

What does your list look like?

7 comments:

Miss. Lady said...

Oh wow! Girl! Are you living my life? I mean for real. Are you? My list is a tad bit longer than yours but you have pretty much summed it up.

JJ said...

My list, which in my younger years, would have looked much longer...is summed up as follows:

i. I like traditionally masculine men...they like traditionally feminine women...I am NOT a traditionally feminine woman.

The end.

Never200 said...

@ miss. lady - Lol, well hopefully we can share some tips to shorten the list, because i am getting tired of hearing that question.

@ jj - i'm hoping i can shorten mine by changing the things i have control over...love your blog btw

AJR said...

You took the words right out of my mouth.

C.C. Walker said...

oh my goodness...i think i finally found my twin...lol! As I read each number, my jaw dropped a little bit more, girl you are NOT alone!!!!!

DeeDeeLynn said...

ooooooooo, number 9 kills me! Like really you want to get deep via text...I don't thinks so!!!!!

Socasassy said...

Gurl.. some of the things on your list about 99.9 matches mine - only the shy ones because I am not shy. But the rest are pretty much the same LOL!! wow and to think my friends think I am the only person like this in the world - LOL!!