What does "Never 200" mean?

It means that I can never, ever, ever, EVER, EVA, ever-ever-ever weigh 200 pounds. I just can't allow it to happen. In 2003 my breaking point was 172. When I saw that on the scale after my return from studying abroad in the UK I was mortified and it inspired me to lose 20 pounds. I was down to a size 8 and I looked pretty damn good. However, It is now 2007 and I weigh 184. So not only did I gain my 20 back but I also gained another 12 pounds. I've made plenty of excuses:

1. My breasts probably weigh 15 pounds - no really, they do...
2. This is relationship weight (but I've been out of one for 6 months)
3. I've had a lot of stressful and life changing events over the past two years (well...that's life)
4. I still look good (I do - but I can look better)
5. I can fit most of my pants (But I have to pull them up to my breasts and I can't fit my favorite ones)
6. I probably look 160
7. Plus size isn't that bad, Lane Bryant has some cute clothes
8. I'm tired of dieting
9. Nobody notices (Nobody ever tells you until you lose it and everyone is like "Daaaaaaamn girl YOU LOST SOOOO MUCH WEIGHT, I ain't want to tell you but you were a porker before.")
10. I'll lose it eventually (When?)
11. I won't get past this weight (I said that at 155)

And they keep coming. So I am going to hold myself accountable and start a blog and share it with others. My current weight is 184 pounds. I would like to get down to 145 pounds, but to make it even lets say my goal weight is 144 lbs. which means that I need to lose a whopping 40 pounds.

I tried to get some of my friends on board but they seem reluctant. I would love to have some sort of competition or support between us, but this is my life and I can not wait. I don't think any of us really see ourselves and what we have become. All of my female friends have widened greatly over the past two years except for about two. I look at them and I am like "Wow..." Then I wonder how I look. I still think I look pretty damn good. But I want to look and feel great and it is really time to get off my ass and stop being lazy and making excuses. I don't want to look back at this weight fondly. I never ever want to see a 200 or more on the scale. I think my 5'5" frame will just cave in. If I lose an average of the recommended 2 lbs. a week it will take me 5 months to lose this weight. That means by the end of May I should be looking svelte and slim. So I will make the goal date my birthday, May 27, 1981.

I plan on using the South Beach Diet because I simply can not count calories and I like to eat. This diet also does not require exercise. I know exercise is important and it will be integrated into my plan, but I don't want to feel like I have to do it. So here's to the beginning of a long, hard ride.

Initial goals:

1. Plan meals ahead
2. Develop an arsenal of snacks - because I know when I get into starvation mode that is when I lose
3. Find a support system
4. Take more Yoga classes - 1x a week to start

Wish me luck!!