My thoughts today...

I've heard several people tell me that my body will do what I tell it to do. I am in charge of my body; it is not in charge of me. These amped up mantras always sounded nice. However, often they came from people that were at a fitness level I've never dreamed of nor desired: triathletes, distance runners, athletes, body builders, etc. In the back of my mind, I thought: "Yea that is easy for you to say....look at you! All I want to do is get back to a size 8."

Well.

They're right.

We all are more responsive to those we can identify with through our personal experiences. I tend to be more interested in advice from people who have struggled with their weight and/or lost a significant amount of weight and succeeded, but I realize I should be more open to advice from others.

Advice is a funny thing. Someone can tell you the same information for years...and sometimes it takes years for you to TRULY understand the meaning behind it. I know we've all had those moments in adulthood when we say: "Ohhhh! THAT's what momma/daddy/uncle/aunty meant shen s/he said..."

About a month ago, I began to exercise again and put in cardio at about 3 - 5 days a week for 30 minutes. That was a good start. Unfortunately, I did not lose any weight. I felt great, but we all know that, despite all fitness advice about inches and how our clothes fit, as women the numbers on the scale do matter, if only to us. When my friend told me that I needed to put in an hour of cardio to lose weight, I balked; I made excuses; I put up a good argument; I whined. AN HOUR? Really? I am not eeeeeven trying to be like those skinny girls in the gym that sit on the cardio machine for hours. I have a life. Please!

But something strange happened.

That same night, I had every intention of putting in maaaybe 40, but I did it. I went the extra 20 and put in an hour. It was not so bad. And for the past three weeks I have put in an hour of cardio (I also include a separate strength training regiment) 5 - 6 days a week with a goal of burning 500 calories. I started tracking my food intake again, and I am glad to say I have lost 9 pounds.

All this is to say, if you are not seeing the results that you want, at the end it's YOU (c) Q-tip. We are not meant to be overweight. We are not meant to be thick (if thick means flab and cellulite). We most likely don't have Oprah's thyroid condition (I got the tests, I don't, lol). Every time I whined about not having results, I blamed it on something else. I want to live life. I love food to much. I thought that language was okay.

Now that I am getting older, and I get flashes in which I truly feel my mortality, I realize, I want to LIVE. I love myself and my one body too much. Now, I am at the point where I can burn 600 calories in an hour, and sometimes I even go for another 20 minutes. Instead of being in pain, it is starting to feel good (not easy...but good).

All this is to say, is that if you are a 20 minute 30 minute girl walking on the treadmill, knees hurting, back hurting, out of breath, giving the chick running at 7 mph next to you the side eye: keep at it YOU WILL SEE CHANGES and IMPROVEMENTS, and it will get easier. Keep pushing yourself. Try to run for a minute, try the incline, try a different machine. It will never get easy, but your body will listen and respond. Just don't stop. We can ascend if you're committed (c) Q-Tip

Question about Calorie Counting

Do you subtract your calories burned from calories you've eaten (ultimately allowing you to eat more)?

For example,

I am allowed 1800 calories a day.

I burned 800 calories exercising today.

(I really did: 1hr dance class, 30 minutes cycling - this doesn't include strength training. I don't exercise like this everyday, but I had some aggression to work out. Go me!)

Does that mean that if I eat 2600 calories and subtract the 800 that I will still be within my daily calorie goal?

I know Weight Watchers gives you extra points if you exercise (you must use them the same day), and LiveStrong subtracts your calories burned through physical activity, but I still feel "guilty" eating more if I exercise (although I know the body needs more fuel if you are very physically active). Ultimately, I know that I will probably lose weight quicker if I don't subtract my calories burned. However, when I exercise really hard like I did today, I am downright RAVENOUS!

Feedback would be appreciated.

Peer Pressure and Living a Healthy Lifestyle

I truly believe that when you make a decision, you will be tested in some way--not in a malicious way, just to make sure you are resolute in your choice. I also feel that making a choice and truly sticking to it for an extended period of time can be one of the most life changing experiences you can have. Even if it is as simple as pray every day or write every day for 90 months, it can change you. I've seen it happen. I've seen long term commitment to simple choices change people. There is a freedom and promise in discipline. It shows us what we are truly capable of.

Lately, I've been feeling really empowered because I have been working out consistently for a month. Last week I got my diet in order, and I have seen amazing results. I fell down in the past but I got back up, and I've made some significant changes to help me succeed this time.

Yesterday, my friend, who recently found out her boyfriend has cancer, asked me to have a Girl's Night Out. She is being an amazing girlfriend and totally supportive of him and this life-altering struggle for his health. This also so happens to be a friend that constantly stands me up, or will be almost an hour late; not call until she is a half hour late; lie about the time she left or how close she is to the destination.

Last week we were supposed to get together to cook healthy meals and divvy them out--our own version of Nutri-System...well we were making real food, so let's say Diet-to-Go (which I will be trying and reviewing here in August). After I've called several times, the time came when we were supposed to meet, and I could not get in contact with her. A half hour later, I get a text apologizing saying she was sleep. I responded (in hindsight, passive-aggressively)- "I'm used to it, some other time." She sent another text apologizing to which I didn't respond. Two days later, I decided to put my feelings aside and check on her because I know she is having an incredibly hard time, so I gave her a quick call and we chatted.

So when she asked me to hang out, I was hesitant. I asked her what she meant by a "Girl's Night Out" and she said: "You know, get dressed up, go to a club or lounge, let loose." All this was via text message, so I told her to call me. When we spoke, I told her I would like to hang out, but I can't go to an alcohol centered venue. I know myself, and at this point I will fall into the temptation if I go to a club or lounge. I really don't want to derail my diet since I am doing so well. I also expressed my concerns about her time management skills after which she said "Nevermind then."

Me: "So since I spoke up you don't want to hang out?"

Her: "Well you have all these stipulations about what you will and won't do, and I wan't to hang out and not worry about calories and drinks--so nevermind."

Me: "Ookay then"

Later on, I sent her a text of relaxing alternatives (yoga, roller-skating, salsa lessons) to which I received no response. Hours later, when I get off work, I check my phone to see a flurry of text messages:

"I know your time is valuable. I just needed a friend on Friday and you couldn't see past your anger. Then I tell you I want to go out and get away from my trouble and the first thing you say is all this things you don't want to do. What about what I may need. You are sticking to your diet and I respect that but it's not on the top of my list."

Well...it's on the top of MY list....and my list is important too.

Which is basically what I told her when I responded in my text (Did I mention I HATE having serious convos over text? Which she knows...). I don't feel like I am being a bad friend for stating my boundaries. I don't want to be around alcohol. If that's your goal, then I am not the friend for that, ask somebody else. For a second, I thought about giving in. I said to myself, "Aw, she just really needs this night to go out and let loose." I quickly scratched that idea because (1) I just can't lose my focus at this point (which is why I offered healthier alternatives) and (2) a true friend who respected my decisions would...respect my decisions!

Talk about pressure!!

What would you do in this situation? Should I have went out with her anyways considering the situation and battle temptation or am I right to stick to my decision?